Mid-Season Report
So, it's about halfway through the 2006 MLB season, and the Mets are absolutely stomping on the rest of the national league. This has never happened before in my life, as far as I can remember. I feel cursed that I was only three years old when the Mets won the 1986 World Series: the one frequently called the greatest of all time. My father swears I was sitting in front of the TV at two years old, watching the Mets, and I tell people I've been a fan since age two, but sadly, I don't recall Mookie, Buckner, or Schiraldi. So, for the first time, the Mets are not only winning often, but are sitting atop the NL East with a commanding double-digit lead. And the Atlanta Braves? LAST PLACE. The utter incomprehensibility of this fact cannot be sufficiently expressed in words.
Perhaps try this example: you are a freshman in college. Your roommate, by some strange series of events, is Sven. Sven is a bully. He gives you a wedgie, mashes an egg into your hair, and punches you in the face every day. In fact, Sven has done this every day since kindergarten. Each time you try to avoid Sven, there he comes, marching up to you, and beating the crap out of you in front of everyone. You've tried everything: talking back, telling teachers, beating up his friends, but nothing seems to work. He's there with the wedgie, egg, and pounding each and every day. There was even a time when you worked out, lifted weights all summer to prepare for Sven, and to fight back when he confronted you in the fall. And you'd show up, muscles rippling under your tight t-shirt, hair dangling in front of your face like some kind of Japanese cartoon show superhero. And Sven would yawn, bored and overweight, looking like he'd done nothing but watch Japanese cartoon shows all summer. You run toward him, fists blazing. Sven merely lifts his knee, and catches you in the groin. You crumble, and he stomps on your face.
Fourteen years of misery. Kindergarten to college. One never doubted that the Braves would win the NL East until they actually saw it happen, for they'd always just... do it. But this year, this year is different. I've never said, "I can feel it" before. I've never said, "The Braves just don't have it this year," because every time I heard others say those very words, Sven would execute a face-stomp. But this year, dare I say, this year, might be the year the Mets run away with it. A World Series championship would be great, no doubt, but the satisfaction of beating the Braves to the division title, and seeing them out of the playoffs would be pure bliss and ecstasy. I would definitely take off work, but nobody out here in Arizona cares.
Moving to fantasy baseball, there is a tight 4-team race atop the league for three money spots. If one had to pick the top three just by hearing the names GM, Marty, Nick, and Eric, one would immediately count Nick out. Nothing against him, of course, it's just he always seems like he has no idea what he's doing, while methodically kicking your butt. So it has gone this season, where he has compiled a team that would make the '27 Yankees shiver in their boots. However, Marty, who is equally as unassuming but nevertheless seems to beat everyone at everything, has just taken over first place. Eric, who verifiably wins at everything, sits in third, a mere step above me. I think I'm pretty good at things in general, but to me, Nick, Eric, and Marty seem to win in just about everything. I wonder what an outsider's perspective of me would be. I certainly competed closely with Eric in several categories: wiffleball, rut (where's that danged umlaut?), Mario Kart, Season Ticket Baseball, but he always seemed to win. Am I the Sanchez-Vicario to his Graf? Interesting... Oh well, I won the fantasy baseball league last season, and that means bragging rights until October.
And come October, I believe we will see the New York Mets rolling along the red carpet to contend for the World Series, while Sven is hitting the links.
Perhaps try this example: you are a freshman in college. Your roommate, by some strange series of events, is Sven. Sven is a bully. He gives you a wedgie, mashes an egg into your hair, and punches you in the face every day. In fact, Sven has done this every day since kindergarten. Each time you try to avoid Sven, there he comes, marching up to you, and beating the crap out of you in front of everyone. You've tried everything: talking back, telling teachers, beating up his friends, but nothing seems to work. He's there with the wedgie, egg, and pounding each and every day. There was even a time when you worked out, lifted weights all summer to prepare for Sven, and to fight back when he confronted you in the fall. And you'd show up, muscles rippling under your tight t-shirt, hair dangling in front of your face like some kind of Japanese cartoon show superhero. And Sven would yawn, bored and overweight, looking like he'd done nothing but watch Japanese cartoon shows all summer. You run toward him, fists blazing. Sven merely lifts his knee, and catches you in the groin. You crumble, and he stomps on your face.
Fourteen years of misery. Kindergarten to college. One never doubted that the Braves would win the NL East until they actually saw it happen, for they'd always just... do it. But this year, this year is different. I've never said, "I can feel it" before. I've never said, "The Braves just don't have it this year," because every time I heard others say those very words, Sven would execute a face-stomp. But this year, dare I say, this year, might be the year the Mets run away with it. A World Series championship would be great, no doubt, but the satisfaction of beating the Braves to the division title, and seeing them out of the playoffs would be pure bliss and ecstasy. I would definitely take off work, but nobody out here in Arizona cares.
Moving to fantasy baseball, there is a tight 4-team race atop the league for three money spots. If one had to pick the top three just by hearing the names GM, Marty, Nick, and Eric, one would immediately count Nick out. Nothing against him, of course, it's just he always seems like he has no idea what he's doing, while methodically kicking your butt. So it has gone this season, where he has compiled a team that would make the '27 Yankees shiver in their boots. However, Marty, who is equally as unassuming but nevertheless seems to beat everyone at everything, has just taken over first place. Eric, who verifiably wins at everything, sits in third, a mere step above me. I think I'm pretty good at things in general, but to me, Nick, Eric, and Marty seem to win in just about everything. I wonder what an outsider's perspective of me would be. I certainly competed closely with Eric in several categories: wiffleball, rut (where's that danged umlaut?), Mario Kart, Season Ticket Baseball, but he always seemed to win. Am I the Sanchez-Vicario to his Graf? Interesting... Oh well, I won the fantasy baseball league last season, and that means bragging rights until October.
And come October, I believe we will see the New York Mets rolling along the red carpet to contend for the World Series, while Sven is hitting the links.
posted by GM | 23:10
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