Hatching into the "Blogosphere" with a Score to Settle

I want to take issue with a few things. First of all, the word "blogosphere": it looks like it falls under the category of other words that end in "-osphere" or "-isphere" such as "stratosphere," "hemisphere," or "ionosphere." In fact it is nothing. There is no physical demarcation of space that delineates this so-called "blogosphere" from any other "-osphere" on the Internet, as is the case for the other three. I hope whoever coined the term owns a dictionary.

Secondly, the term "to blog." This is not a verb. If I am correct, "blog" is a sort of un-appostrophed contraction for "web log," thus making it similar to a trip log or a captain's log, but not a yule log. A synonym would be a "journal." Ergo: "I am going to journal right now." Unacceptable. "I am going to blog right now." Tacitly accepted, yet moronic. "To blog" has the same kind of connotation as "to impact." To impact? In what way? "Delgado's signing will impact the Mets' lineup." Of course it will. Everything impacts everything else. Just ask Newton. It's a silly verb which has weasled its way into our lexicon, just like "to blog." From here on out, I am going to write, and then publish it on my blog. (I think I have to accept at least "blog" as a new noun. Ah well...)

In any case, I think I created this "blog" because I was bored and because I hoped that, somewhere, there were grammar-crazy freaks like me who would help me meet Lynn Truss. It's not that I really have any desire to meet some random British journalist, but I do feel that she may be the savior of our not-so-beautiful language as we know it. She's the rider on the white horse, so to speak. I think also that I might someday take over the world ala Peter Wiggan, which would allow me to appoint myself GM of the New York Mets (and I do have the perfect name for it.) This would be a life-fulfilling dream. And if Chris Snow can do it, well, I mean someone has to win the lottery, right? Although I think the true point of every blog in this great, vast Internet is to make each and every person feel like they are Rick Reilly or Dave Barry. Yeah, writing a blog is like giving yourself a great pat on the back and saying, "Well, I have no ambition, but I sure can ruin my eyesight at that screen!"

On the whole, as I know grammar can be boring to non-English teacher types, I do love baseball. And a mid-season report is assuredly on its way, due to the tight race atop our fantasy league and the emergence of my very own New York Mets as a powerhouse of a team. So read on, all three of you who feigned interest to appease my humble ego. And somebody bring me a yule log.